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Friday, 30 November 2018

Zombie Hunter Is An Awful Movie...


After a mysterious street drug called Natas turns most of the world's population into squishy, pink-blooded, flesh-eating, zombies, society crumbles.

Zombie Hunter, it turns out, is an Arrowstorm attempt at grindhouse from 2013 that had somehow slipped under my radar.

Yet, it's hard to believe this is from the same company that made Ozombie the year before.

Pretty much everything about this film is bad, from the unnecessarily ridiculous voice-over (by not one, but two of the characters) to the stage school-reject acting from many of the leads and the awful dialogue they're given, to the unexplained appearance of the CGI monsters that wandered in from an Asylum mockbuster remake of a Resident Evil flick.

I'm not saying Zombie Hunter is Shark Exorcist or Camp Blood bad, because it's actually quite well made given its obviously limited budget - and has some decent ideas thrown in along the way -it's just the script and performances scrape the bottom of the barrel.

What passes for a story centres on a man known only as Hunter (Martin Copping) - as menacing as Les Dennis in Gary Numan's guyliner cosplaying as Mad Max Rockatansky - who becomes entangled with a grim group of survivors in the wastelands of post-apocalyptic Utah.

At the forefront of this group is Father Jesús (Danny Trejo), but regardless of what the DVD cover (see above) may suggest, Danny's presence in this debacle in sadly limited to about 20 minutes.

Otherwise, we're treated to the comedy stylings of charmless rough-as-toast stripper 'Fast Lane' Debbie (Jade Regier), the stereotypically gross Lyle (Jake Suazo), nice girl Alison (Clare Niederpruem) and her sex-obsessed brother Ricky (Jason K. Wixom), and 'funny old person' Jerry (Terry Guthrie), all of whom make The Texas Chain Saw Massacre family look like The Addams Family in comparison.

If you're idea of "humour" is seeing a lot of people puking, watching an awkward, chaste, sex scene,  or hearing the 'light relief' recycle "I'm getting too old for this shit" as though he'd thought up that catchphrase, then this might raise a smile.

But mainly you're going to be reaching for the remote control - to turn it off or fast-forward - or checking your watch to see how much longer there is to go.

Let's not even try to address the random final scene that introduces - then dismisses in the same breath - a pointless, and previously unforeshadowed, plot twist from out of nowhere.

I couldn't help wondering if Danny Trejo wrote his own lines or it was simply his charismatic delivery that elevated his scenes above everything else in Zombie Hunter.

Outside of Trejo's bits, the closest this film comes to a stand-out sequence is when the survivors encounter the final human resident of a town of cannibals, who have been driven insane from eating the flesh of zombies.

For a brief moment, Zombie Hunter switches sub-genres to become a slasher flick, courtesy of a surprisingly menacing antagonist, the cackling Funny Man (Jeff Kirkham).

Another memorable quirk, that I don't recall seeing in other zombie films, is, on a couple of occasions, the zombies hurl guts at fleeing survivors... which just struck me as funny.

But these minor oddities aside, Zombie Hunter is a shockingly awful way to waste 89-minutes of your life.

For One Night Only: Once Upon A Deadpool... With Added Fred Savage!


Artist Appreciation: Jelena Kevic-Djurdjevic's Women Of Marvel Variant Covers...


From 2010, found via Tumblr.

#RPG Excavating The Secret History Of Dungeons & Dragons...



Secrets of Blackmoor is a two-hour documentary, charting the evolution of role-playing in games that culminated in the creation of the global phenomenon that is Dungeons & Dragons.

The movie is shot but needs funding to finalise it and make it presentable. The film-makers are looking to raise $25,000 by Christmas Day (December 25) to seal the deal.

You can currently view an early, very rough, cut of 35 minutes of footage from the documentary here. It was screened recently at Gary Con.

There's much more detail about the film, which is due for release next March, its interview subjects, the history it covers etc on the campaign's Kickstarter page, where you can also pledge your financial support.

My Favourite New Supers Show Returns To The UK In January...



Marvel's Runaways returns December 21, only on Hulu, in the States and in January, on SyFy, over here in the UK.

Reimagining The Classics In New Animated Star Wars Show For Younglings (Of All Ages)



In the build-up to the release of Episode IX in a year's time, revisit classic moments from the original movies, in animated form, using sound effects and dialogue from the classics.

This series, Star Wars: Galaxy of Adventures premieres today on the Star Wars Kids YouTube channel.

Final Vision Board Of The Month...

Thursday, 29 November 2018

WEEKLY WORLD NEWS: She's Buying A Stairway To Heaven...



Every one has the potential to trigger a story hook in your contemporary roleplaying campaigns, whether the player-characters are grizzled FBI veterans investigating cults and other clandestine organisations, or kick-ass exorcists looking to save souls and punch demons back to Hell.

I HAVE SUPER FRIENDS!


This has been the birthday that keeps on giving.

At this week's games' night, Pete presented me with a gift crafted by his ultra-talented wife, Jeni, knitter extraordinaire: a handmade Acrobatic Flea doll.

Some time ago, Pete had made a casual request for a picture of the Flea, with a hint that it would be transformed into "something", but I had no idea what he had in mind for it.

This eight inch woollen Flea doll just blew my tiny mind.

I've already decided that he operates in an alternate world of animated toys (The Fuzzy Dimension), patrolling the streets of Knit City (see what I did there?)

In front of The Acrobatic Flea portrait that Pete drew me many, many moons ago

Throwback Thursday: Tricycle...


On Sunday, Rachel, Alice, and I visited the Christmas On The Home Front event at the museum of Kent Life, and one of the first things that caught my eye was an antique tricycle parked outside one of the old houses.

This tricycle, with its solid rubber wheels (rather than those namby-pamby inflatable tyres the kids have these days), was identical to the one I had as a child, in the early '70s.

Was the tricycle that my parents gave me second hand? Quite possibly, as we weren't rolling in money.

I have no recollection of it being some kind of "family heirloom", so I don't know my trike's provenance.

Perhaps tricycle design hadn't evolved since the war years and mine was, in fact, newer?

I'll never know, but I didn't expect to be transported so clearly back to my own childhood while attending a recreation of British life during the war years of the 1940s.

I have fond, and vivid, memories of trying to build a ramp - with a stack of bricks and some hardboard - in the steep drive of our family home in Pembury, to Evel Knievel myself over some imaginary gorge.

Instead, the ramp just toppled over sideways as I rode my trike up it!

Those solid tyres were memorable as well. There was no give in them, so every lump and bump you rode over was vibrated through the tyres, and the bike's metal frame, right into my tiny body.

On the positive side, you never got a flat. So, there was that.

And look how small it is. In my mind, over the years, it has, of course, grown with me, so to be reunited (in a way) with it now just brings home how long ago this all was.

Alice isn't interested in my nostalgia

The Return Of Young Justice...


From Warner Bros. Animation, Young Justice: Outsiders features the return of the fan favourite animated series with a huge cast of DC's most iconic young super heroes - plus brand-new characters, many of whom are just discovering their unique meta-powers and special abilities.

Set against the backdrop of a rich, deep world that touches all corners of the DC universe, our heroes will face the new threat of metahuman-trafficking, and an intergalactic arms race for control of these super-powered youths.

Young Justice: Outsiders premieres January 4, 2019 exclusively on DC Universe.

Cosplay Goddess: Rolyat (mega-post)


Rolyat (aka Taylor) is a Canadian cosplayer whose work you can support via Patreon here. You can also follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

As well as being a recognisable face from my own world-famous Wonder Woman, Harley Quinn and MJ-themed cosplay posts, she was recently profiled on Calvin's Canadian Cave Of Cool (what with her being a cool Canadian and all).

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