It's six years after Michael was broken out of jail by the "man in black", and it turns out young Jamie was kidnapped at the same time.
We learn that both Michael and Jamie have been held by a strange (druidic?) cult in a subterranean doomsday shelter all this time, but now the 15-year-old Jamie (now played by JC Brandy) has just given birth to a child.
Who's the father? Are we supposed to think it's Michael? In which case: urgghh!
Anyway, with the aid of a nurse, Jamie makes her escape with her newborn, but is pursued by Michael.
Eventually, as death closes in on her, Jamie leaves the baby to be found in a bus depot.
Miraculously, the child isn't discovered until a new hero enters the scene: Tommy Doyle, the kid Laurie was babysitting in the very first movie - all grown up and now played by the immortal Paul Rudd, in one of his earliest film roles.
Tommy, the resident Michael Myers expert of Haddonfield, teams up with his neighbour, Kara Strode (Marianne Hagan), a young single mum, who has moved back home with her family.
Her odious dad now runs the local real estate agency that his brother - Laurie Strode's dad - used to, and has moved his family into the old Myers house because the agency was unable to sell it.
Somehow, he keeps the house's horrific history a secret from his family (doesn't anybody talk to anybody in Haddonfield? How on Earth could his family live there for years and not hear their home's backstory from somebody in the town?).
Unsurprisingly, this comes back to bite them in the butt.
These latter Halloween movies have all introduced at least one character that the audience really wants Michael to kill, but none have deserved it more than Kara's obnoxious and abusive father, John Strode (Bradford English).
If there's one thing you can say about Michael, compared to other slashers, more often than not, he's very conscientious about cleaning up after himself.
Dr Loomis (Donald Pleasance in his last outing in the franchise before his death in 1995) is brought out of retirement by his colleague Dr Wynn (Mitchell Ryan) for reasons, but besides being that horror movie character who lurches around telling everyone "you're all doomed", sadly doesn't really impact the story much.
The heroics are largely left to Tommy, who finds himself saving Kara, her son (who, for reasons, also seems to have a psychic connection to Michael), and Jamie's baby not only from Michael but also the "Cult of The Thorn".
Remember the tattoo that suddenly appeared on Michael in the last film and was clearly "significant"?
Now, we discover - thanks to Tommy's research - that this is a Celtic rune - the "thorn" - and is related to a druidic blood rite held on Samhain (Halloween) that sees the chosen ('marked') soul sacrifice his family to ward off evil from the rest of the tribe. Or something.
I think, but it's never made entirely clear, the cult is trying to create additional "Michaels", but they obviously haven't sought the endorsement of the man himself for this scheme as - despite living with them for six years - he doesn't seem happy about their plans... and launches into his obligatory killing spree.
I also think that the mysterious "man in black" (from Halloween V) is now supposed to be the cult's leader, but The Curse of Michael Myers isn't too clear in explaining itself.
There's a definite whiff of "making things up as they go along" in these various plot threads.
The story's all over the place and is definitely trying to shoehorn in some late Friday The Thirteenth Jason Voorhees voodoo, but ultimately it all falls a bit flat.
- Here endth the prime timeline of the Michael Myers mythology, when we return with 1998's Halloween H20: 20 Years Later things will look very different as Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is back from the dead in a divergent timeline.
FILMS WATCHED: 13
NEW TO ME: 10