Marshall: Barney, don't do this, not with Jesus.
Barney: Seriously, Jesus started the whole wait-three-days thing. He waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect. If he'd have only waited one day, a lotta people wouldn't have even heard that he died. They'd be all "Hey, Jesus. What up?" And Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday." Then they'd be all, "Uh, look pretty alive to me dude." And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected and how it was a miracle. And then the dude would be like "Ah, oh-kay, whatever you say "bro"."
And you're not gonna come back on a Saturday, everybody's busy! Doin' chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' their beards.
No, he waits the exact, right number of days - three. Plus, it's Sunday, so everyone's in church already. They're all in there - "Oh no, Jesus is dead." Then BAM! He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched and FYI, that's when he invented the high-five.
Three days, Ted. We wait three days to call a woman because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait. True story.