Reality Is The Playground Of The Unimaginative

Home Of Swords, Sorcery, Superheroes, Sonic Screwdrivers, Supernatural Scares, Star Stuff, Sci-fi, Smeg, and Silliness

Saturday, 31 August 2019

Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal Looks Subtle, Understated, And Not At All Gruesome...

Your Own Necronomicon: Now Without Soul Swallowing Or Being Dead By Dawn!

Who hasn't wanted to own their own copy of the Necronomicon (as seen in the Evil Dead movies)?

If you're not a talented prop master or artist yourself, then this licensed product from Trick or Treat Studios and Studios Canal appears to be your best opportunity.

The $89.99 Book of the Dead/Necronomicon Prop, sculpted by Russ Lukich,is available for pre-order, and is an exact scale replica of the book from Evil Dead 2.

This book opens and closes and comes with 36 printed pages depicting the illustrations that were in the 'real' (screen-used) Necronomicon.

Cast in high quality latex with weathered pages, Trick or Treat Studios says:
"This book has solid feel and look as if it came right off the screen. [It] is the perfect compliment for your witch, zombie or Evil Ash Costume!"
It would also make an amazing gaming prop, whether you are playing Eden Studios' Army Of Darkness RPG or simply channelling the Evil Dead mythology through your own campaign.

Sample pages from The Book Of The Dead

Trick or Treat Studios can also sort you out with a Kandarian dagger for another $149.99!

Ready To Party On With Historical Dudes?

While still playtesting and hammering out the finer points of Bill & Ted's Riff In Time, British games company Warcradle has unveiled some of the miniatures of historical characters that will appear in the most excellent boardgame: namely, Abraham Lincoln, Napoleon Bonaparte, and Socrates.

You can read more about the game's on-going development process here.

There is no release date as yet for Bill & Ted's Riff In Time, although one would suspect Warcradle is aiming for around the same time that Bill & Ted Face The Music in a cinema near you!

You Are Not Alone On The Island, Something Is Here, Pray You Don't Become Its Prey...

Although Blumhouse's politically-charged The Hunt got yanked before release, the production company still has Prey to slate our thirst for seeing people being hunted!

It's due out in select cinemas in the States and VOD platforms from September 27.
From Hyde Park Entertainment, ImageNation and Blumhouse Productions, the terrifying thriller stars Logan Miller (Escape Room, The Walking Dead) and Kristine Froseth (Apostle) as two young strangers forced to run and fight for their lives against a mysterious and deadly force lurking deep in the jungle of a secluded island retreat.

Prey follows Toby Burns, a millennial coldly floating through life and disconnected from his family.

After his father is tragically killed in a carjacking, Toby is left stricken with guilt.

He is begrudgingly enrolled in a “Lost and Found” program, in which he will spend three days and three nights on a remote jungle island.

Toby soon finds that this “uninhabited” island is not so lonely when he meets a mysterious girl named Madeleine.

It soon becomes clear that neither of them are safe here and time is running out. Someone or something bloodthirsty lurks in the jungle, and Toby must find a way off this island before becoming its Prey

Unimagined Friends...

Bachelor film project from The Animation Workshop, Viborg, Denmark.

Friday, 30 August 2019

The Apocalypse Has Just Been Prorogued, Sarah Connor Still Has A Job To Do!

#RPG COMMUNITY TABLE: Help Me Create A "Unique" Deck Of Many Things...

Deck of Many Things, Green Ronin. Art by Elaine Betocchi
I was going through my old posts, looking for something in particular, when I spotted this unfinished project from 2012. The idea was to get various members of the gaming community to submit ideas for 'different' effects of a unique Deck Of Many Things - and we've already had input some some luminaries of the old school.

If you're interested in helping me revive this, just see what cards haven't been claimed yet and post your idea in the comments section below.
I've owned Green Ronin's beautiful prop/game device: The Deck Of Many Things (representing the infamous magic item from the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Master's Guide) for some time, but always felt it would be more interesting if different "Decks of Many Things" had different results when one of their 22 cards was pulled from the pack.

Therefore, I'm opening up this "community table" to readers of HeroPress.

I've listed the various card names below and you, guys and gals, can suggest possible results for these powerful magic playing cards.

The only guideline being that the effects should have some thematic connection to the name of the card and it would be an idea if the bad results balanced with the good ones!

The Cards
  1. Balance - the character shakes violently then divides into two identical characters (each with half the character's total hit points - maximum, but retaining the same Level), both under the player's control. All non-magical equipment is duplicated; magical items remain with the primary character but can, obviously, be divided between the pair as the player sees fit. This duplication lasts for 24 hours, or until one of the characters is killed (at which point his body dissolves and oozes across the floor until it can rejoin with the surviving partner). When the two bodies eventually rejoin, the character's new hit points will be the sum of its two halves (Tim Knight).
  2. Comet -
  3. Donjon - The character and his companions are instantly transported to a randomly chosen One Page Dungeon or set of geomorphs (kelvingreen)
  4. Euryale -
  5. The Fates - The player draws the card and the three fates ask him a question: Fame? Fortune? Or Friend? The answer will determine the result. If the player chooses 'fame' they will see the next 'boss' creature they will fight and be shown its weakness. This results in a +2 to hit and +2 to damage. For spells the creature will be at -2 for saves. If 'fortune' is chosen then the player will be given a general feeling of where it is located, but also how to open any secret door that might be hiding it and reveal and trap or creature that might be guarding it. This will result in +2 to any roll needed to disarm or detect traps. And if 'friend' is chosen the player will see nothing at first. But as play continues the player may use this to save one of his friends from a hit from an opponent or trap. It will require the player to take a his turn to warn, shove grab onto his friend to stop the result. This may result in the player sacrificing himself and taking the damage. (Tim Shorts)
  6. Flames -
  7. Fool - A marionette (but where do the strings attach?) resembling Punch begins following the character around, singing insulting songs, making up unflattering rhymes, and generally mocking them at every turn. If destroyed the marionette quickly reforms. Can only by banished by Remove Curse or the like (Trey).
  8. Gem -
  9. Idiot - Everyone within 30 ft of this card, when revealed, suddenly views everyone else as complete drooling morons. Furthermore, all are struck with a compulsion to inform them of this sudden change in their mental state. Of course, YOU aren't a moron, thus any assertions on the part of the imbecilic masses to convince you otherwise only serves to further prove your point...(SpiralBound)
  10. Jester - Lose all your class levels and gain bard levels instead. Your hit points (max and actual) are halved if you used to be a fighter or a cleric. Even if your DM doesn't allow bards normally (but he gets to choose the version you will be using)...(rorschachhamster)
  11. Key -
  12. Knight -
  13. Moon -
  14. Rogue -
  15. Ruin -
  16. Skull -
  17. Star -
  18. Sun -
  19. Talons - All birds and avian creatures get an intense dislike for the character (-4 reaction penalty). Above ground, once a day there is an unfortunate bird-related incident, for example befouling clothes, stealing food or shiny things and going for the eyes. This is stopped by a remove curse cast by a 14th-level cleric.(satyre)
  20. Throne -
  21. Vizier - Your eyes are filled with magic and you can see anything you care to look upon no matter how well hidden or how far away, even the medusa's face can be viewed without fear of harm. A rich, melodious baritone voice will whisper to you and reveal 1d4 secrets, or answer as many questions you might ask about whatever you are observing. The voice is very knowledgeable and completely honest. However, you knew there'd be a catch, the things that you can see, also see you and they know where you are right now. Also, prolonged viewing/staring (more than one turn) runs the risk of either transporting them to you (30%), or you to them (70%), depending on which one fails their save first...(NetherWerks)
  22. The Void - a pit opens before the drawer of the card; a black pit of eternal darkness, a void that stretches to other realms and planes. All within 30' must save versus paralysis or be dragged into the void, disappearing to wherever the evil DM decides (death, another world, a different plane, a shed, whatever). The void remains for 1d10 days, growing another 30' every day, sucking everything into the pit until it is spent and vanishes in a puff of shadow. (Simon Forster)
Keep those suggestions coming in and please post links to this if you think you know anyone who'd like to take part.

As ideas are posted in the comments I will update the list above, so it's easy to see at a glance which cards have already been "claimed".

I Think The Loft Conversion Is Entering The Final Phase Now...

At the end of what has been a busy week, the plasterers finished off the first floor hall and "made good" the bathroom walls that had been damaged by the original lifting of the roof to accommodate the loft conversion.

As well as Ben finishing off the various fixings, the plumbers were in for a couple of days this week, fixing all the piping for the en-suite shower room and the radiators on the top floor.

Unfortunately, this did require them to take up the floor in the existing bathroom, which has now left us with a patchwork of cut-up squares of non-slip flooring over uneven cushioning.

The bathroom cracks have disappeared! Just don't look too closely at the floor now!

Rachel has already started to pick out a new bathroom suite, so guess that'll be the next "project" after the loft conversion is finished.

There's some brickwork that needs doing on the gable (the bricky came round yesterday to set up, and is due back next week), and the tiler should be with us in a couple of weeks to tile the en-suite.

After that the plumbers can return and install the toilet, heated towel rail etc

Then, I think, that's it.

One step closer to becoming an en-suite shower room in the loft conversion.
The staircase down from the top floor
The first floor is going to need a lick of paint!

Once that's all done, Jason the decorator can come in and make the top floor shell look more homely, as well as overhauling the first floor (either the bits that suffered during the loft work or that we were going to change anyway, such as the black wall in the bedroom).

By which time, I guess Rachel will have called in a carpet company to fit new carpets from the top of the house down to the groundfloor.

So, we're nearly there... but still a long way to go!

"The Game's Afoot... Cry - God for Harry! England And Saint George!"

Hal (Timothée Chalamet), wayward prince and reluctant heir to the English throne, has turned his back on royal life and is living among the people.

But when his tyrannical father dies, Hal is crowned King Henry V and is forced to embrace the life he had previously tried to escape.

Now the young king must navigate the palace politics, chaos and war his father left behind, and the emotional strings of his past life — including his relationship with his closest friend and mentor, the ageing alcoholic knight, John Falstaff (Joel Edgerton).

Directed by David Michôd and co-written by Michôd and Edgerton, The King co-stars Sean Harris, Ben Mendelsohn, Robert Pattinson, and Lily-Rose Depp.
Michôd wrote the recent, brilliant, TV adaptation of Catch-22, Chalamet will soon be on the big screen as Paul Atreides in the new version of Dune, and the rest of the cast are to die for.

The King has "hit, historical, epic" running right through it, and will be available on Netflix (and in select cinemas) this Autumn. Possibly, I wonder, around St Crispin's Day?

#RPG The Official Twelfth Doctor Sourcebook Finally Materialises...

It seems like an eternity since we last saw new material for Cubicle 7's Doctor Who roleplaying game, but this week they announced that pre-orders were open for The Twelfth Doctor Sourcebook.

The official blurb reads as follows:
This Sourcebook explores the Twelfth Doctor’s adventures on Earth and beyond. With detailed information on all the allies, enemies, aliens and gadgets that they encounter, as well as examining each adventure, the book contains a wealth of material for the Doctor Who Roleplaying Game, and is also a fact-packed resource for fans of the show!

Gifted a new series of regenerations after rescuing the home-world they once thought they doomed, the Doctor barrelled back into action. With a new lease of life and not a second to waste, the Doctor returned ready to save the universe whether it wanted it or not. Duel with Robin Hood, journey to the center of a Dalek, outfox deadly two-dimensional killers, meet the Master’s capricious new incarnation, and tell all of them to shut up!

Just one question… Do you happen to know how to fly this thing?
The book can pre-ordered direct from Cubicle 7 here for £29.99, and they assure us that:
"Once ordered you will receive the complimentary PDF shortly after, with the physical copy to follow later this year."

Sometimes You Don't Connect With The Best Things Immediately...

Like a great many things that I subsequently became totally obsessed with (such as MerlinGame Of Thrones, Breaking Bad, The Witcher novels etc), it took me a couple of attempts to "get" Rick & Morty.

But once it clicked, I binged my way through all three seasons on Netflix.

Turns out it's one the best things ever!

It's a little bit of everything I like, but is very much it's own unique thing, with a surprisingly deep and complex mythology as well as brilliant left-field humour.

I am now drooling in anticipation for the fourth season to appear later this year.

Thursday, 29 August 2019


Thanks to pledges pushing the Star Hat Miniatures for DuckQuest Fantasy Role Playing Games Kickstarter well into stretch goal territory, the eagerly-anticipated DuckQuest roleplaying game (in PDF, with a POD option) will be available to all backers getting the miniatures.

The brainchild of sculptor Darcy Perry, the game uses its own mechanics (the Dramatic Universal Cosmic Kudos System) and features a gorgeous cover by Jon Hodgson.

Darcy explains the genesis of DuckQuest:
"Unlike other games where ducks are relegated as side-kicks or comic relief, imagine they're the star players; the heroic explorers on an epic adventure.

It's an idea that didn't go away. The more I looked around, the more I noticed that ducks got a raw deal. Something had to be done. So combining the need for ducks to be represented in a better light and a lifelong dream of writing my own fantasy heartbreaker RPG. I took the plunge and dived in!
The Kickstarter runs until September 20, so there's still plenty of time to get quacking...

Every backer is also getting a free miniature commemorating Flying Buffalo's Rick Loomis, who recently died.

This is a wonderful gesture from Darcy and you can read all about this miniature and how it came to be here.

Hawk The Hunter: What Could Have Been...

Terry Marcel, director of Hawk The Slayer, talks with Oliver McNeil, of The Fantasy Podcast and The School of Wizards and Witches, back in 2015, just as it looked as though we might get a sequel (Hawk The Hunter) - with the aid of Kickstarter.

Sadly, as we know, that never happened.

However, the interview also covers the samurai roots of Hawk The Slayer, the film's Easter Eggs, its world's creatures and magic, the casting of Lost's John Terry and Jack Palance, Terry's tantalising plans to take the Hawk brand to television, the Dark Knight/Legend Quest TV series, how we almost had Tom Hardy as Hawk back in 2009, and handing over the reins to a younger director.

Ah, those were the days! What could have been...

Honestly, it breaks my heart to hear all these plans and imagine a world where Hawk got the Renaissance it deserves, and we could all be watching a TV show, reading comics, and even playing video games based upon the most Dungeons & Dragons film of all time.

#RPG Merlin's Miscellany: Blood Crystals (And A Xena Bonus)

Before using a pair of Blood Crystals

It's been a good six years since I adapted anything from the BBC's Merlin for use in Swords & Wizardy/Crypts & Things, but as it's currently running on SyFy, I've been catching up and feeling inspired again.

Blood Crystal

(from Gwaine)

Some crystals carry mighty enchantments, and the Blood Crystal has a very special power to it, even though it only works once.

They are artifacts from the old times, always found in the form of a necklace or pendant

The owner of an unused Blood Crystal may transform his appearance (and voice) while wearing the crystal, if he touches the dead blood of the person whose appearance he wants to assume.

While he gains no knowledge or skills from his new look, it will last as long as he has the crystal on his person (even after death, if that were to happen).

However, once removed, the Blood Crystal loses its enchantment and can never regain it.

Unsurprisingly, there is a nefarious trade in used Blood Crystals as the only way to tell it has lost its powers is through a magical detection spell... and not everyone has access to that.

After using a pair of Blood Crystals
Ulysses and his bow!

The Bow Of Ulysses

(from Ulysses, Xena: Warrior Princess - season two)

Made of the hardest ironwood, this mighty magical bow requires a STR of 18 to string and pull.

While it only gives the user a +1 bonus to hit, arrows fired from this bow cause triple damage (e.g. while a normal arrow would cause 1d6 damage, fired from this bow it causes 3d6 damage)

Tomorrow Our Ship Docks At Carnival Row...

Wednesday, 28 August 2019

Send In The Clowns!

Director Todd Phillips Joker centres around the iconic arch nemesis and is an original, standalone fictional story not seen before on the big screen.

Phillips’ exploration of Arthur Fleck, who is indelibly portrayed by Joaquin Phoenix, is of a man struggling to find his way in Gotham’s fractured society.

A clown-for-hire by day, he aspires to be a stand-up comic at night… but finds the joke always seems to be on him.

Caught in a cyclical existence between apathy and cruelty, Arthur makes one bad decision that brings about a chain reaction of escalating events in this gritty character study.

Arthur, who devotes himself to caring for his fragile mother, seeks out every father figure he’s never had, from wealthy businessman Thomas Wayne to TV host Murray Franklin.

Caught in a cyclical existence teetering on the precipice of reality and madness, one bad decision brings about a chain reaction of escalating, ultimately deadly, events.

#RPG Jousting And Other Sports...

Although the flavour text is written for my own game world, the basic game mechanics for these sports, where given, are Swords & Wizardry/Crypts & Things.

Jousting: If you were to ask the Teklish what the best thing was that the Valyards had done for their island they would - almost to a man - agree upon the introduction of jousting.

A formal jousting match is the subject of much pageantry, especially when it is part of a larger tournament (as most are), with a pair of knights in plate mail armour, bearing couched lances thundering towards each down the lists, to the cheers of the attendant crowds in the stands.

Should a player-character find himself in a tournament, here are some quick and dirty rules for determining the outcome.

Both participants roll a d20 to hit (adding in their Basic Attack Bonus, of course) and consult the following table -

A lance's standard damage is 2d4+1. A blow to the shield does this amount of damage, to the body one and a half times this, to the head double damage.

To resolve a possible unhorsing the struck knight (having taken 4d4+2 damage from the blow initially) must make a STR saving throw. If the attacker's STR is less than his, then he rolls at Advantage (ie. roll 2d20 and take best result), if the attacker's STR is equal to or no greater than his own by three points, then it's a straight save. If the attacker happens to have a STR that is four points greater than his target, then the roll is at Disadvantage (ie roll 2d20 and take the worst result).

If the roll is made then there are no further consequences and the attacker is counted as scoring a head hit.

If the the roll is failed however the struck knight is unhorsed and takes a further 1d6+1 damage from the fall and must make a DEX Saving Throw (with Advantage) to avoid breaking anything (see rules for Falling Down - and, yes, a Hero Point can be spent to automatically pass this roll).

A knight rendered unconscious from blows sustained in the normal run of exchanges will also topple from his horse - and lose the match.

Tournament lances are designed to break upon impact, so unless a knight misses during his run, he must replace his lance after every tilt.

Therefore it is important that the knight ensures he has enough spare lances (at 6gp each) to last the tournament, and probably a squire to hand him fresh lances and maintain his armour between contests.

Individual jousts are decided on points, with each knight riding off against his opponent until he has accumulated four points (unless one is unhorsed) and each rider scoring as follows:
  • Shield Strike: One Point
  • Body Strike: Two Points
  • Helm Strike: Three Points
  • Unhorsing: Automatic Win
Remember, between each tilt, both knights can 'catch their breath' and regain 1d6 lost Hit Points.

The winning knight may claim either the armour or horse of his defeated foe (or an item of treasure or weaponry of similar value), although it is generally regarded as bad form to leave a fellow knight totally defenceless.

Sometimes the prize will be waived in lieu of some kind of debt-of-service, that must be agreed between the two knights and the host of the tourney (or his representative).

Campball aka Futeball aka Gameball aka Mob Football: Popular legend has it that this brutal, dangerous and noisy sport began with two groups of villagers kicking around the severed head of a felled bandit - but these days balls ranging from the size of cricket balls up to stitched pigs' bladders filled with dried peas are kicked around.

Beyond this the similarities to modern football (soccer to my American readers) are minimal.

The captains of the two teams decide how many players will participate on each side (ranging from dozens to hundreds, depending on the amount of room available) and then a village maiden will throw out the ball and the chaos begins.

The object is to kick the ball through your opponents' goal (or goals - larger games, usually played in fields covering several miles and with a hundred or more players per side, will have two goals at each end. And there are no designated goal keepers).

There are no other rules. While the use of actual weapons is frowned upon, as every man carries a knife with him most of the time, blade-related injuries (and even deaths) are not unknown.

Mob football matches are played on certain holidays, between villages or towns, on a designated 'camp' (the playing field - which may be within a certain perimeter in a town or in the surrounding fields).

The game, however, has been banned within the walls of Kaerlud (the capital of Tekralh) since the reign of King Cherin in 794, due to the excessive amount of damage caused and the number of fires that broke out because of upturned braziers.

Handball: Tennis without racquets. A net is slung up between two posts (trees, houses etc), sometimes even across a road and the players hit between each other - scoring a point if it hits the ground on their opponent's side (or goes through a window!).

As with most Teklish sports the match continues until the participants decide to stop, lose interest or are moved on by the authorities.

Animal Sports: Comparatively large sums are wagered by the common folk of Tekralh on a number of pastimes that would be labelled as cruel and inhumane by today's society, such as cockfighting (a pair of trained birds with fitted metal spurs thrown into a cock pit to fight to the death); baiting (setting a number of trained dogs against a larger animal - e.g. bear, bull or badger - in a pit); and dog fighting.

Blood-Games: A variation on the various animal baiting sports, the 'blood-games' sets two human fighters against each other in a pit - often to the death.

Although not banned, this is a hugely frowned upon pastime and is usually the province of slightly decadent Valyard nobles who like to torment Teklish and foreign prisoners (or volunteers) in pit fights, with the promise of freedom or a large purse for victory.

Traditional Sports: Wrestling matches, archery, horseshoes, hammer throwing etc are also common place, especially as part of larger tourney or fair.

The nobility treat hunting as a sport, while to the lower classes it's a way of putting a rare piece of meat on their table.

Archery: The most popular sport in Tekralh as it is a great leveller; peasants are just as likely to be good shots as nobles - even though competitions that allow different social classes to compete against each other are very rare.

The only people not inclined to take part in archery contests are knights, who prefer the visceral thrill and challenge of jousting to demonstrate their martial skills.

With targets set at 50ft for a shortbow and 75ft for a longbow and then moved further away each round, scoring for participating player-characters is a simple matter of rolling a d20 for each shot (adding in BAB, range modifiers, DEX modifiers etc) and then consulting the following table:

Scoring is 10 points for a bullseye, six for an inner ring and three points for the outer ring. Trick shots (like splitting an opponent's arrow) require both a roll to hit and the expenditure of a Hero Point.

Each contestant is allowed a set number of arrows (usually three per target) and their overall points are tallied at the end of the contest to determine the winner.

In an upper class contest, the prize is often a silver or golden arrow (worth 1d10 x 10gp), while lower class archery tournaments usually offer a simple cash prize of around 3d6 to 4d8gp (or produce to the same value).

Roleplaying Research Resources:
  • Relics & Rituals: Excalibur - by Swords & Sorcery for 3.5 Dungeons & Dragons
  • Throwing Down the Gauntlet - by Stephen Gardner, White Dwarf, issue 81

Streaming & Sorcery: The Hexer (2001)

Netflix's Henry Cavill isn't, of course, the first person to portray The Witcher known as Geralt of Rivia in live-action.

That honour goes to Michal Zebrowski in the 2001 Polish film adaptation, The Hexer.

I'd already watched the trailer for this on Amazon Streaming and thought I'd get round to it one day.

Then, the other night, listening to the latest slice of the audiobook of Sword Of Destiny (the second collection of short Witcher stories by Andrzej Sapkowski) I got to a scene that was clearly one shown in the film trailer (more an extended clip).

So I decided to pay for the movie and sat down to watch it the following day.

The Hexer (aka Wiedźmin) is an episodic adaptation of four or five stories from The Last Wish and Sword Of Destiny, that slowly develops a loose linking narrative. However, for the most part, it feels like several half-hour episodes of a TV show smooshed together to make a two hour movie.

There's also a lot of Witcher mythology here, and very little explanation, which makes me think that anyone without a passing familiarity of the books will be totally lost.

I know nothing about the video games, so have no clue how their mythology overlaps with the original iteration, but this film is most definitely based on the written word - there are lines and scenes lifted directly from the source material, which is a big plus in the film's favour.

Supporting characters we know from the stories come and go, generally just sticking around for their "segment". So, for example, we only get the pleasure of Geralt's feisty sorceress lover Yennefer (Grazyna Wolszczak) for, maybe, 20 minutes, during the dragon-hunting story (The Bounds of Reason, from Sword Of Destiny, which happens to be where I'm up to with the audiobook).

Possibly because of this episodic nature, the pacing is all over the place, and early on, many years pass between scenes without any overt indication for the casual viewer.

This being The Witcher (although, for some reason, all the way through Witchers are referred to as Hexers) there are monsters and magic. The magic is, wisely, low-key and so works, but the monsters are a mix of simplistic-looking practical effects (often just waving tentacles or dead rubber beasties) and laughably-poor CGI, such as the aforementioned dragon.

There are also dwarves (short people with beards) and an elf (a man with pointy ears glued on), but, again, like the magic, attention really isn't drawn to these background characters and they actually work surprisingly well.

As I said in my review of The Last Wish, dwarves in The Witcher universe are not the caricatures we've become used to in a lot of modern media.

I'd like to have seen more dwarves and elves. Perhaps they crop up in the television series that came off the back of this movie? Sadly, with the Netflix show about to blow apart the Internet, I doubt there's much chance of anyone streaming that old show any time soon.

Although, no doubt, a very expensive Polish production at the time, The Hexer does look cheap by modern standards.

It's hard to believe this was released the same year as Peter Jackson's Fellowship Of The Ring, much of the time The Hexer looks like a direct-to-video product of the late '80s or '90s.

The fight scenes aren't really anything to write home about, and are largely bloodless, but there's plenty of female nudity - and a single f-bomb - to give it a proto-Game Of Thrones feel, accentuated by the dramatic scenery and sets.

I know I have a reputation for being more accepting of a certain level of trashiness in movies, but I don't get the hate levelled at this film.

Then again I haven't grown up with The Witcher books - or the video games - and, at this stage, have a far from encyclopedic knowledge of their deep lore.

For me, the real treat, as a new fan of this "universe" was seeing characters I have only just met in literary form being brought to life by talented actors from the very land that birthed the mythology.

The Hexer is more about absorbing an ambience than following the story. I'm looking forward to returning to this film down the line, once I've read (listened to) more of the books, to see what I missed on my first viewing.

Weird Wednesday...

#RPG Want Some Anthropomorphic Bunnies In Your Games? Then You'd Better Hop To It!

As the Kickstarter to fund a colony of 28mm anthropomorphic rabbits is mere days away from ending, it's a hop, skip, and a jump from crossing the finishing line successfully.

David Wood, of The Little Solider Company, needs pledges to hit £2,000 by Saturday (August 31) to produce his Attack Of The Killer Bunnies selection of 10 miniatures.

These are seen as the start of a new range for his company, called Alice's Adventures In Geründerland.

A couple of new pledge levels have been added, so you can now choose whether you want the seven fantasy-themed rabbits:

Or the three sci-fi ones:

Of course, you can always get the set of all 10, or even go for doubles, depending on your gaming needs.

Quickly hop over to the Kickstarter page to learn more about this campaign.

Thor: Love & Thunder (2022) + Dr Who (2022)


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