Reality Is The Playground Of The Unimaginative
Home Of Superheroes, Swords, Sorcery, Star Stuff, Sci-fi, Scares, Silliness, Sauciness, Smeg, and the Supernatural

Friday, 30 April 2021

Dark Horse Stampedes Into Audio Arena...

Following last week's announcement that Graphic Audio will be producing full-cast audio adaptations of Archie Comics stories, this week it was revealed that the company has signed on to adapt adventures from Dark Horse Comics as well.

Already scheduled for release in September are The Mask: I Pledge Allegiance To The Mask, by Christopher Cantwell & Patric Reynolds, and Living with the Dead: A Zombie Bromance by Din and Mike Richardson & Ben Stenbeck.

These will be followed in November by Ghost: In the Smoke, from Kelly Sue DeConnick, Phil Noto, & Jenny Frison, and Duane Swierczynski & Eric Nguyen‘s X, Volume OneBig Bad.

Having previously worked with Marvel and DC, Graphic Audio offers a broad portfolio of comic book adaptations, including Vault Comics' Vagrant Queen and Dynamite's The Boys.

There Is Too Much Good Stuff Being Made! When Do We Have Time To Watch It All?

Based on the beloved DC Comic, and Executive Produced by Susan Downey & Robert Downey Jr., Sweet Tooth is a post-apocalyptic fairytale about a hybrid deer-boy and a wandering loner who embark on an extraordinary adventure.
All episodes of Sweet Tooth premiere on June 4, only on Netflix.

DC Fandome Returns In October...


Following the incredible success of last year's inaugural DC Fandome, the free, online, celebration of all things relating to DC Comics is returning in October.

This year's event is scheduled for October 16... and I shall definitely be there.

Akin to the massive Disney Investor Day of revelations, I'm hoping this kind of globally-available, online - and, most importantly, free - promotional events are the shape of things to come.

They do wonders for generating good word of mouth and cementing fan loyalties to their properties.

Can't wait to see what DC will have to show us come October: hopefully some more footage from The Batman and Black Adam, for starters!

No New Falcon & The Winter Soldier Today, But Now We Can Go Behind-The-Scenes...

Hooray for Mary Jane!

Thursday, 29 April 2021

Horror DVD Of The Week: Willy's Wonderland (2021)

A nameless, eccentric, taciturn drifter (Nicolas Cage) finds himself stranded in an isolated town, and the only way he can get the cash to pay for his car repairs is by spending the night cleaning the town's derelict roadside attraction, Willy's Wonderland.

Of course, it turns out that there's a catch... of the supernatural kind.

The animatronic creatures of Willy's Wonderland not only come to life after dark, but are hungry.

There are two major factors immediately in Willy's Wonderland's favour: firstly, is there, really, such a thing as a bad Nic Cage movie (The Wicker Man aside, but that's a whole 'nother conversation)?

And, secondly, any film that plays out with Free Bird scores well with me.

However, ultimately, Willy's Wonderland feels like a movie where the idea was better on paper than in its execution.

Cage playing a character that doesn't say a word is an inspired choice, but his performance is surprisingly restrained. 

Even though there's plenty of violent fight scenes, as well as possibly too many of him playing pinball, he lacks the expected memorable physicality of, say, Sailor Ripley from Wild at Heart.

And the plot, itself, isn't really anything that new.

Both the "town that has made a deal with the Devil" and the "murderous animatronics" are well-known horror movie tropes, but Willy's Wonderland plays them both at face value and doesn't do anything that unique or inventive with them.

The backstory to the events that unfold is gruesomely fascinating and there's a definite consistent verisimilitude about the townsfolk and the bargain they have entered into to protect their own, but I kept hoping for more.

Just off the top of my head, on the animatronic side alone, Willy's Wonderland is Child's Play writ large, mashed up with Five Nights At Freddy's, and The Banana Splits Movie.

The 'serial killer cult' (shades of The Following) was a nice touch, but then the lack of distinctly different personalities within that felt like a missed opportunity.

Cage's silence allowed locals to drop exposition on him - and us - quite convincingly. 

However, several of his character's quirks, such as his regular break schedule (whatever else was going on) are left unexplained, almost to the extent of suggesting his character is a blank slate that simply acts as the story demands... kind of like an animatronic amusement park mascot!

Enjoyable nonsense while it's on, Willy's Wonderland isn't a film that's going to be bothering anyone's Top Ten Favourite Horror Movie lists, but is silly enough for a fun, brain-in-neutral, beer-and-pizza film night viewing experience.

Marvel Reveals Free Comic Book Day Titles...

With this year's Free Comic Book Day being in August, rather than May as has been traditional, for COVID reasons, publishers have more time to whip up readers, old and new, into a frenzy with their title revelations.

This week saw Marvel unmaking the cover art of their new FCBD offerings: Spider-Man/Venom art (above) from Patrick Gleason, and an Avengers/Hulk cover (below) from Ryan Ottley.

"...this year Marvel Comics will release two Free Comic Book Day titles, each containing two separate stories. These exciting tales will provide perfect entry points for new readers to the thrilling ongoing sagas of the Avengers, Spider-Man, Venom, and the Hulk and give comic fans their first glimpse at the exciting new eras for their favourite characters.
"These issues will shape the Marvel Universe as we know it with direct connections to the year’s biggest upcoming storylines.
"Crafted by some of Marvel Universe’s chief architects including Jason Aaron and Chip Zdarsky and many more surprises and featuring art by superstars like Marvel’s Stormbreaker Iban Coello and Greg Smallwood, Free Comic Book Day 2021: Avengers/Hulk and Free Comic Book Day 2021: Spider-Man/Venom will be must-have for fans."

#RPG Swearing Is Fun... In Spaaaaacccce!


Let's be honest, swearing can be fun... but sometimes, when you're, say, gaming with kids or prudish grandmothers, you don't want your characters running round dropping f-bombs and other offensive letters of the alphabet.

Over the years, writers of space-bound comics and TV shows have had varying degrees of success with inventing substitute swears, such as Battlestar Galactica's legendary "frak", or "flark", "d'ast", "shlag", "dink" and "garked" from the Guardians of The Galaxy comics.

Now, the industrious RPG writer Hodag has created a free, downloadable, document that allows you to create your own "outer space swears" entitled Motherflip!

Download it, try it out, and bring some family-friendly, light-hearted, cussing to your tabletop adventures.

Wednesday, 28 April 2021

Weird Wednesday...

Just Who Are The Bad Batch?


Ahead of next week's debut - on May The Fourth - Disney Plus and Star Wars has released this introductory featurette about their new animated heroes, The Bad Batch.

#RPG Episode Six: Kingdom Of The Spiders

The Tuesday Knights

Previously On The Theoretical Science Foundation:

The underwater base's proximity alarm alerted our heroes to the approach of a pair of aquatic dinosaurs.  The team's sub was chased back into harbour, and one of the team tragically died in the maw of angry plesiosaur.

Still reeling from the death of one of their own, the team made contact with other TSF bases around the country to ascertain a better picture of the overall situation.

They learned that the area around the Nevada/California border, where they were, seemed to be a particular hotspot for the "infected" (aka zombies).

Buck (my explorer character) was quite insistent that contact be made with the late Dr Jill Davidson's brother, Jeff, a dashing young geologist for The United States Geological Survey (USGS), that Freya (Clare's photojournalist) had taken quite a shine to.

Jeff Davidson
Unfortunately, the USGS informed us that Jeff had been out of contact for a couple of days, since discovering a new cave system in the Desolation Wilderness (the other side of Lake Tahoe) that had been opened up by recent tectonic activity. 

Two of the security guards in our extended group had loaded our terrorist prisoners into the truck we had arrived in, to take them to the proper authorities, and so we helped ourselves to fresh TSF transport for the journey round Lake Tahoe, into California.

Our scientist colleagues - and the remaining guards - stayed back at the Lake Tahoe base to continue their research.

The plan was for us to go to Jeff's base station - an abandoned farm house in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada - and find his reports on the exact location of the cave entrance he was exploring when the USGS lost contact with him and his young intern, Jimmy Pulver.

As we pulled up to the farm property that had been Jeff's base, large clouds of sulphurous smoke were seen - and smelled - in the distance, possibly from a fresh vent, Buck theorised.

The double front doors of the house were ajar, but there was no answer as we went in, calling Jeff and Jimmy's names. 

Exploring the ground floor of the farmhouse

The building appeared to have an arachnid problem, it was infested with larger than normal spiders that were skittering around most of the rooms, leaving quite a few webs, but otherwise not bothering us.

Onyx (Erica's cat burglar, played by me in Erica's absence) and Buck soon found Jeff's maps and notes on the dining room table.

These seemed to suggest that Jeff was particularly interested in a nearby "swelling" that had elevated a large portion of land, opening a number of fissures in the process.

His last diary entry said that he and Jimmy were going to investigate some "unusual animal activity".

There was a crashing sound from a cupboard in the kitchen and Dick Tate (Kevin's G-man) and Freya rushed to investigate.

Opening the door they were shocked by a trio of spiders the size of dinner plates, rearing up and hissing at them.

Dick shot one, but then one sprung upon him and another jumped on Freya.

Onyx and Buck joined the fight, but ultimately it was "Deadeye Dick" Tate who killed all three of the hairy critters.

Fr Ned bravely ventured upstairs alone

Meanwhile, upstairs Fr Ned (Simon's priest) was investigating the bedrooms and had been ambushed by a monstrous spider the size of a German shepherd, knocking him to the floor.

Hearing his cry, we all raced upstairs to find the priest  tussling with the great beast.

The spider was slain in a hail of bullets, causing it to explode in a rain of blood and ichor that coated Fr Ned.

Nearby lay a body on one of the beds - the exsanguinated corpse of poor young Jimmy Pulver.

We were too late to save Jimmy Pulver!

While Freya and Buck examined the remains of the inexplicability enormous arachnid, Fr Ned, Dick, and Onyx continued the exploration upstairs - looking for clues as to Jeff's fate and a possible lead on our oversized invaders.

In another bedroom, Dick and Fr Ned heard sounds from under the bed akin to "lots of fingers on wood", so Dick threw back the eiderdown as Fr Ned and Oynx squatted down to see what was making the noise.

Fr Ned sparked up his lighter and was met by the sight of eyes reflecting his flame, flanked by massive mandibles that charged at him, followed by the body of an unearthly centipede.

While Onyx buried a crossbow bolt in the monster's flank, it was Fr Ned's blow with his knuckledusters that laid the fiend out.

With the creature alive and intact, this would make a good specimen for Buck to examine. 

But what's the cause - and connection - between the rise of the infected, the appearance of a pair of dinosaurs in Lake Tahoe, and now these giant spiders and the centipede?

Centipede attack!

To Be Continued...

 
The Theoretical Science Foundation - The Cast:
  • Buck Hannigan - played by me
  • Dick Tate - played by Kevin
  • Father Timothy 'Ned' O’Flaherty - played by Simon
  • Freya Larson - played by Clare 
  • Onyx Jones - played by Erica (absent, played by me)
Showrunner - Pete

Missed an episode? Catch up with this hot new show right here.

Has The Asylum Out-Asylumed Itself With Latest Monstrous Mockbuster Monstrosity?


Abraham Ape? Really? Absolutely no attempt has been made to obfuscate the IP that Ape vs Monster is ripping off.

But I don't think Warner Bros has anything to worry about this challenging the dominance of Godzilla vs Kong on the home entertainment front, or at the box office.

IMDB has the following as Ape vs Monster's synopsis, and this makes as much sense as anything in the world of The Asylum:
"An ape crash-lands on Earth, which creates a sludge that makes him and a passing scorpion grow to giant-size, resulting in a fight for dominance."
There's no release date yet for Ape vs Monster, but I, for one, can't wait!

Wonder Woman Wednesday...

Tuesday, 27 April 2021

Marvel vs DC: Has The Question Of The Ages Finally Been Answered?

Wonder Woman is, apparently, the most popular superhero in the UK, although we're more predicatble when it comes to supervillains, favouring The Joker.

Massive hat tip to Calvin (of Cave of Cool fame) for drawing my attention to this "research" by UK video game store, Game, into the global perspective on the eternal debate: Marvel or DC?

As I don't tend to read X-books these days, I had no idea who Emplate was and only really know Daken because of his Wolverine connection.

The Game website has quite a bit on all this, with breakdowns of preferred publisher by country (spoiler: Marvel stomps DC, although DC is big in Russia... where they favour Venom as their villain of choice), as well as popularity by State in America, and some discussion of their process (it's based on volumes of Google searches) and the results.

Click through to see larger maps as well.

Shangi-Chi (2021) + Venom 2 (2021) + Eternals (2021) + The Batman (2022)

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