During this current period of gaming introspection, it struck me that while I consider myself an okay gamer, I'm not actually that great a roleplayer.
It's taken me over 40 years to reach this conclusion, but I suddenly realised that all my characters are, essentially, variations of John Wick - just without the wit and Keanu Reeves coolness.
From Staghind and the Acrobatic Flea through to Syr Edvard of House Dobbin, James ' Bicky' Bickmore, and Buck Hannigan, all my characters tend to be:
- Generally heroic
- Open to occasional flashes of great insight
- Prone to bursts of cinematic levels of violence and throwing themselves into outrageous "stunt scenes" (the wilder, the better).
That's not even a personality. Any trace of 'depth' or character comes directly, unfiltered, from me.
Otherwise, that's just a list of things I like to do in a game. Whatever game I'm in - and thankfully, as far as I can tell all the ones we've played have leant themselves to this - I want it to be a big budget action movie.
It's all just wish fulfilment, a power fantasy where I get to be brave, do heroic things, save people (even if it's only my fellow adventurers) etc, all things I'm too chicken, and selfish, to do in real life.
I don't get "into character" because my characters have no character, they're just costumes I put on for some virtual cosplay boffer LARP; computer avatars that - for all their different dressing - are created from the same base code.
What to do with this "revelation"? Who knows? Does it matter? I don't think so, I'm having fun - and I hope my fellows in the Tuesday Knights are having fun as well (I know Buck's recent antics - in Pete's 1950's GURPS campaign - raise a smile, as he goes to extreme lengths to keep the rest of his band alive).